Christian Page — vital statistics

Height: not high enough by far
Width: never mind the quality, feel it
Length: never mind the width
Depth: sigh

Location: yes
Age: too much
Sex: all predictable answers apply

Education: well meant, but fatuous
Work history: stiflingly boring, unfulfilling, futile, misdirected, mistaken, naive, unrealistic, idiotically optimistic, ongoing, dogged
Ambition: depends. What you got?

Occupation: pre

Sounds: breaking glass, breaking wind, breaking up