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Nagaijin
A blog, a bit of Nova Scotia in Osaka

Grande Talk
Interactive design, lifehacks, books, creativity, technology, marketing communications

Softlogicmonkie
A different sort of blog — from Jerry Gordon

Click on the text to visit the linked sites. They will each open in a new window.

Kansai Poets Vol.1
A CD of poetry Produced by Jerry Gordon
Click here

George Bush's address at a July 4 event was interrupted by hecklers denouncing his occupation of foreign countries.
As the hecklers were dragged away one by one by security personnel, Bush told the audience that it was OK because the USA was all about free speech.
Eventually, a frustrated member of the audience vaulted the podium and ripped Bush's head off.
'Turns out,' lamented the protester, "It wsa all waxy. He was just a big dummy."

July 6, 2008

Dugong
The US military and the Japanese government are building a new helicopter base off the coast of Okinawa, right on top of some rare coral and feeding grounds of the dugong, a population already under tremendous pressure from human activity in the area.

Local people and Greenpeace are organising opposition to the base. If you think that the dugong should be left in peace, you can add your name to the protest too. Follow this link.

 
September 24, 2007

BBC cat name scandal — hundreds of thousands dead
A producer of BBC kids show Blue Peter has just been suspended in the continuing row over phone in and competition deceptions.

He fixed a viewer poll to name the TV show's cat. The name adopted was Socks, but that was not the name the viewers voted for, or so go the allegations. Faith in Corporation Auntie has plummeted further over its apparent inability to name a moggy without scandal.

Fair dos. Deceiving kids is not a conscionable act, although knowing British kids, you wonder whether the majority of votes might have gone to names like Bum, Willy or Hoodie.

Meanwhile, George Bush and Tory Blair deceived millions of people about the WMD in Iraq and the threat posed by that country. This deception led to invasion, war, a botched occupation, a near civil war and hundreds of thousands (perhaps more than a million) dead.

Neither was suspended from work. Neither was punished or prosecuted. When Blair moved on from his job he was given a new one — envoy for the UN, EU, US and Russia to the Middle East, a part of the world he helped to enflame by invading Iraq.

September 20, 2007

Imperial Dudgeon
My human rights have been violated, and those of thousands like me.

This week the EU caved into pressure from British imperialists and excused the UK from going properly metric.

The imperialists argued that it was their right to buy and sell bananas by the pound and their beer and milk by the pint. They resisted with all their might the forty-odd year project to get Britain using the same units as the rest of the sane world.

Metri-sceptics

I, on the other hand, demand my right not to buy my bananas by the pound, and not to buy my pint by the pint.

I was one of the first generations not to be taught imperial at school. Everything I did was metric, or decimal as the money was called.

I remember the change from pounds shillings and pence to just pounds and pence. My grandparents were baffled by the new fangled and entirely logical monetary system. I embraced it, having never learned the old system which was calculated in unfathomable bases of 12, 16, 396 or the amount of kelp you could stuff in the pockets of a pair of plus fours on a rainy Saturday morning in Norfolk.

At school we were never taught the arcane imperial way because, we were told, the future was metric.

Now, because of silly EU bureauprats caving in to the fox hunters, the witch dunkers and the Keep Britain Backward campaigners, I am stuck with miles, pounds and pints.

I have no idea how many yards there are in a mile, except that it is a totally random number based on, I think, the distance a medieval pikeman could run in full armour before dying of French arrows. I wouldn't know a fluid ounce if it tried to drown me.

When I moved abroad I adopted easily the kilometre, the kilogram and have even become friends with the kilobyte.

When I return to the UK and explain that I live 35km from Osaka, people ask, 'How far is that?' You see, I cannot even hold a normal conversation. I cannot buy cheese from a deli because when I ask, 'What does 200 grammes look like,' the answer will be 'What are grammes?'

No, I am not at all in favour of this latest EU decision. I demand a return to the new ways. Mark my words, this unitary climb down will mean rivers of blood.

That's metric rivers of blood, of course.

September 15, 2007

Moggy, moggy, moggy! In, in, in!

Sybil

It is heartwarming to see that the Prime Minister Gordon Brown has installed a cat at 10 Downing Street.

The prime minister's official residence has been without feline charms for ten years. The last cat Humphry was fired and replaced with a bird table by Tory Blair.

The new moggy Sybil arrived auspiciously on September 11.

So, a new cat has arrived at no. 10 but they are yet to evict the dogs of war.

September 12, 2007

The Lord God Almighty tells George Bush to 'fuck off'
Today, the Lord God Almighty, a supreme being, told George W Bush to 'fuck off'.

The Good Lord added, 'you are a lying, dissembling little plonker, and I hope you get your johnson caught in the zipper of your trousers'.

According to the Bible, liars and killers go to hell and rich people are forbidden from passing through the eyes of needles.

Weed reappears on Psipook
A sample of Chris Page's novel has been restored to Psipook's PsiFi section.

The extract of this novel, considered by the author to be the most important, funniest and only one he has ever written, was removed some months ago for a re-write.

The extract returns to this site refreshed, spruced and even weedier than it was before.

Click here to vid.

June 9, 2005

Announcements

A soft touch at Sofmap
Far be it from me to air my personal grievances on this site, oh no. This is a public service announcement. I am helping others from falling for the same scam I did. Specifically, electronic chain giant Sofmap has failed to honour a warranty it charged me to take out.

In July (2005) I bought a secondhand but pristine iBook at the Denden Town, Osaka, branch of Sofmap.

At the time I bought the machine the staff told me that for an extra 4,000yen I could get a Sofmap guarantee for three years on my purchase. I paid up and was given the paperwork.

In November, the power adaptor failed. A connecting cable was evidently broken. So off I went to Sofmap with the guarantee and the malfunctioning part and the rest of it — only to be told by the staff that the guarantee only covered the computer and not the accessories.

Eh?

In the end I had to pay out another 5,000yen for a new power adaptor — a generic brand and not even a Mac.

I have bought three computers, one monitor and all sorts of peripherals and disposables at this branch of Sofmap over the years — in fact just about all my computer stuff comes from Sofmap, and the first time I want to use a warranty I have paid for, it's "bugger off, mate, the warranty was just a form of extortion".

That's OK. I shall just stick to Bic Camera and the Apple Store in future.

Dec. 4, 2005

PS While in the UK recently the power adaptor I bought above went pop and died on me, requiring a 6,000yen replacement. The defective power adaptor was made by Power to Go and explicitly states on its case that it can handle Britain's 240v mains.